The difference between a nerd and a normal person:

The normal person reads my shirt that says, "I'm only wearing black until they make something darker," and thinks, "There's nothing darker than that! Hah!"

The nerd reads the same shirt and says, "...I wonder what that would look like."

Fucking too hot for computer to be on. *pushes button*

ZOMGWTF. It is literally 100 degrees here in Benicia. Where did my springtime go? Did summer just chase it off or something?

I'll bet he did. That douchebag summer always screws up tv schedules and causes all kinds of heat-related problems. And now he's elbowing his way in early. Jerkwad.

For those of you who know anything about biorhythm, this graph will mean something to you:



For those of you who don't, take a look at this article: Wikipedia. The long and short of it is that the 17th-20th are going to be a good couple of days, and I'm looking forward to it.

Now, for the more mathematically inclined of you, I pose a question: there are three primary cycles involved in biorhythm. Physical cycles at 23 days per wave, Emotional at 28, and Intellectual at 33. How many days must pass before they resynchronize and all strike zero at the same time? I know the easiest method is to multiply all three numbers together: this results in 21,252 days, or just over 53 1/4 years. However, there's probably an earlier synchronization date, and I'd like to know when it is. However, my feeble flailings at math never end well, so I pose the question to you.

On a tangental note, I'm going onto Strattera as soon as I fill this prescription. I'm hoping it'll help me with focus, something that I've had an awful lot of trouble with recently.

mood: mellow

This may be relevant to your interests.

Hip Hip Violin And DJ - Free videos are just a click away

Dizamn.

Stolen from devlindupriest.

EDIT: Also, not stolen, but ZOMGWTFSPQR.


Every Man's Dream Girl - For more of the funniest videos, click here

...does anyone else have coworkers who have screaming matches in their office?

I am going to kill someone with a spoon.

A spoon.

A rusty spoon.

I just discovered that there are about $650 of overdue bills going into collections in my name for products and services I don't have nor ever have had.

Death shall be had.

in other news, intertubes back online hoorays

Sup. I've got a problem.

Two computers in the office are hooked to a Netgear firewall. Two other computers are hooked to the Netopia cable router. The Netgear firewall is hooked to the cable router.

Herein lies the issue: the two hooked to the cable r Spark of inspiration fixed thank god yeehaw.

You came into the office this weekend and rearranged everything again, and you totally tore up my wiring. I rewired this entire damn office and you just took it all apart. Now none of the printers work and one of the computers can't even find the local network but can inexplicably find the internet. What the hell.

Also, I no longer have a whiteboard and I'm facing a wall.

No love.

No love at all.

Of course today is the day we're rearranging the office.

Of course.

And here I thought I was going to get something done today.

...what does it mean when your fortune cookie doesn't have a fortune in it?

Empire Magazine has revealed its list of the "50 Greatest TV Shows" ever. Below is the list and here be the rules.

1. Bold the shows you've watched every episode of
2. Italic the shows you've seen at least one episode of
3. Post your answers

50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex & The City (here's my manhood, thanks.)

45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers

40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted

35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood

30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf

25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. Angel

20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who

15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld

10. Spaced
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends
06. 24

05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons

35 points for me. Not bad.

Okay, I lied. Wizards of the Coast has some great April Fool's jokes.

Best April Fool's ever.

Got struck by the Holy Bolt of Inspiration™ last night, during class of all times. Sat down and handwrote three pages of material about a city during the lecture. Sometimes having a brain that needs to focus on multiple tasks at once is a blessing.

I still haven't come up with a name for the place, so aid in that department would be appreciated. A short rundown of the city is below:

The city is contained entirely within four gigantic stalactites in an underground cavern that have been hollowed out to be made hospitable. The stalactites are magically and technologically braced to accept the additional weight of life inside them and are joined to each other through a series of bridges.

The largest stalactite, clocking in at 36 stories long, houses a university. The next largest (at 32 stories) houses the dorms, a modest library, and a cafeteria. The third largest (24 stories) is a commerce and industry center. The last (16 stories) houses the city and university administrations.

The college has five major departments: Liberal Arts, Mathematics, Sciences, Arcane Studies, and Theology. It is strong in the Mathematics department and also has very strong geology, astrology, and alchemy programs.

Humans and dwarves make up a significant number of the inhabitants, with a smaller yet still significant population of elves and gnomes. Despite this, it is a rather metropolitan city and fully a quarter of the population comes from the 'lesser' races: gnolls, goblins, half-giants, and even grippli attend the school in number, and members of more exotic races such as planetouched or insectoids are still found amongst its ranks.

That's a summary of what I've got so far. Like I said, not sure what to call it yet, so suggestions (or expansions on the above) are welcome.

This is adorable:

I am of the mind that prostitution should be legalized. And no, it's not because I want to go out and make it with a bunch of chicks: I'm happily married, thanks.

No, it's because I don't think that a government should impose morality onto a culture. Morality should be left up to the people within a given culture group.

( Disclaimer: )

I think that's enough for now. Feel free to compliment, belittle, insult, or otherwise comment: I do love a debate.

mood: working tags: debate, disclaimer

Why on earth are my cell phone's speakers magnetic?

WTF? It's supposed to be spring, and yet it is colder today than it was a week ago, when it was still supposedly winter.

Also, what vibrant and intelligent city planner under your domain came up with "Dawn Quixote Dr."? You're the Golden State, not the Geoffrey Chaucer state. Please get your things in order before April Fool's Day, or there will be some serious fooling involved and you will be the victim.

It will involve manatees. Space manatees with head-mounted blue lasers. I suppose that would make them space narwhals, wouldn't it? Space Narwhals of Destiny.

Oh, damn. I have given up my fiendish plot. I suppose I will just have to make another. Still, California, shape up or ship out and all that.

-fax_celestis

The wife and I started watching Death Note last night.

...I am hooked. Hooked. Its' a great premise with a positively brilliant set of anti-protagonists¹. Like the crack, it is.

¹Well come on. It's not like Light's really supposed to be a hero, is he?

It's called "Name That Tune".

I'm going to post slices of songs, you're going to guess them. These songs come from all over my collection, not just my metal bits, so those of you with more...traditional tastes can still play.

Most points wins, first correct guesser gets the points. You're on the honor system for no Google-fu, so no funny business.

Ready? ( Let's Play. )

Alright, that's enough for now. GET ANSWERING. //cracks whip

First Rule of DMing: The players are fucking rock stars and/or superheroes.

...this statement's meaning changes dependent on where you place the emphasis, but it's okay. They're all true.

When you work for Yahoo, don't tell someone to "google" something. It's bad for business.

I've been pondering coming up with some sort of new gaming system. I've got the basic structure laid out, but I'm stuck as to how to formulate the central mechanic.

Right now I'm thinking a difficulty/success system (not unlike that found within Billy vs. SNAKEMAN), with your ability score determining the number of dice you roll and your skill score determining the kind of dice.

( Tables under cut )

The problem I have with this is that it's kinda an inelegant mechanic. Does anyone have a better suggestion, preferably one that isn't already usurped by major gaming systems?

It's always amusing when you can tell what a band was listening to when you listen to their album.

Is this just an inexplicably long and exhausting day for everyone, or is it just the fact that I was on the phone for nigh two hours this morning with four layers of tech support, delving into the inner workings of Yahoo Mail, on a four-way conference call?

I'm starting to think I might need to go back onto Strattera.

1:19 PM tubularsalmon: Thanks for having a civil conversation. We don't see many of those.
me: No problem.
1:20 PM I certainly like having civil conversations.
I mean, third time's the charm, too.
Two other times, I had people leap down my throat. This time, hey. Whatever works.
1:21 PM Does the algorithm account for LJ interests, or is there no algorithm and it's totally random?
1:22 PM tubularsalmon: Now, I can't tell you that...
me: I figured as much.
Can I ask why I was chosen?
tubularsalmon: I do feel bad when someone ends up having to talk to a total jerk, though. It's pretty funny when two jerks get in a conversation, though...
me: I can imagine.
1:23 PM tubularsalmon: You were chosen semi-randomly.
me: "Semi"?
1:24 PM tubularsalmon: Well, there is a random element to it... But I really can't say much more.
me: Got it. Secrecy and all that.
1:25 PM I'll probably figure it out sooner or later.
Who should I contact when I do?
tubularsalmon: We will know if someone figures it out.
1:26 PM me: Oh really. You're reading my thoughts now too?
And not just my IMs?
Surely, you have an incredible command of technology if this is the case.
1:27 PM tubularsalmon: Well, I'm working on the assumption that you will tell someone, and once one person is told, it'll become pretty obvious.
me: Why would I tell anyone? Who do I have to tell?
Anyone I'd tell wouldn't care less, and telling it would spoil the surprise for others, no?
1:29 PM tubularsalmon: Oh, you aren't going to ruin it? Well, if you care to speculate, you can drop another message to any online Salmon SN, if you can find one online.
me: You'll get them all, then?
1:30 PM Will I continue to receive random Salmon pings?
(At a continuing rate of ~1/day?)
1:31 PM tubularsalmon: We will get all messages sent to a valid Salmon SN. You will still receive messages from the Salmons, but 1/day seems to be a lot. They'll probably be a lot more scarce than that.
me: Funny. That's how it's been these past few days.
1:32 PM Not that I mind.
186 people on my buddy list, and I talk more to Salmons than anyone else.
It's a rather...welcome event.
1:34 PM tubularsalmon: Well, that's good. I got the impression that you didn't like it for a moment there.
me: Initially I didn't because I thought it was some douchebag with an agenda screwing with me.
Then I realized that the people on the other end were as lost as I.
1:37 PM tubularsalmon: Anyway, nice talking to you. See you another time.
me: I'm sure you will.
Thanks for a surreal day.

TheGreatHatsby is the name of an AIM bot that instigates conversation between two totally unrelated people. Its name is a play on words from the book The Great Gatsby. It is a relay bot that retrieves the most recently updated LiveJournal posts and obtains the AIM screenname of the posting user. It then sends the user the message "i say, old bean, have you seen my hat?"

Responses from users are then forwarded by the bot to another one of the users similarly contacted. From this both users are typically confused insisting the other messaged them first and try to figure out what is going on.

Messaging any of the screen names listed below will elicit a response the same as if the bot initially messaged you, causing you to be linked with a random LiveJournal user.

Any occurrence of your own true username in chat will result in it being replaced with the name of the bot. Any occurence of the name of the bot will be replaced by the username of the user on the receiving end.

Wikipedia Article.

Google The Bringer of Knowledge has aided me once again!

themissinghat. A short FAQ as to WTF is going on.

It all makes some weird convoluted sort of sense now.

EDIT: Also, if this bot works the way I think it does, any of you who happen to be on my friendslist who also have AIM contact listed in your profiles may be similarly affected by this...surreality.

Be warned.

TubularSalmon: who is this?
and i agree about the sad face
me: ...we went over this yesterday.
Sent at 10:43 AM on Saturday
me: ...we went over this yesterday.
TubularSalmon: right
i have a feeling i know who this is
me: Oh?
TubularSalmon: but i can play this game
so, pi day is over, that's sad
did you enjoy celebrating einstein's birthday, too?
me: I didn't do such, no.
TubularSalmon: hmm....ok
then i guess i don't know who this is
you'll have to help me out a little bit more
me: I'm in California?
TubularSalmon: hmmm
yeah, i'm sorry, i don't remember
me: //shrug
I don't know who you are either.
TubularSalmon: how did you get my screen name?
me: I just know you keep IMing me out of the middle of nowhere with a slightly modified version of Salmon for a username and asking me who I am.
...I got it when you IMed me.
TubularSalmon: what?!
me: That's what I said.
TubularSalmon: how do you know its me if the screen names are different each time?
(hole in your bizarre story)
me: Because your typing style is the same, for one.
And it's always SoemthingSalmon for a username
Last time it was ProtestingSalmon.
This time it's TubularSalmon
TubularSalmon: no, you're tubular salmon
me: Reeeeeeeeally.
No, I'm FaxCelestis.
TubularSalmon: it's not someone with my same writing style making up different screen names
ha ok
well, we should get to the bottom of this
because it's obviously a very serious matter that needs to be solved, somehow involving salmon
me: Before that it was IntriguingSalmon,.
TubularSalmon: haha ok
me: You think I'm kidding.
TubularSalmon: so...i'm im-ing you with different screen names (so you have no idea that its me) but they have the same writing style as me
well, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever
how did you get THIS screen name then?
me: You just IMed me with it, and it said, "TubularSalmon sent you a message. Accept?" and I pushed yes.
TubularSalmon: no, YOU imed me with "tubularsalmon sent you a message. accept?" and i pushed yes
and your message was regarding pi day
me: ...this is surreal.
TubularSalmon: otherwise, i had never heard from you, nor had i ever typed "salmon" into an im box before
me: Bizarre.
So what's your actual IM name then?
TubularSalmon: comediem
me: Clever, but no one I've heard of.
TubularSalmon: that's really weir
d
me: You think some bot is messing with us?
TubularSalmon: i don't know how that works
i don't know how it could do that
me: Neither do I, but it's the only thing I can think of.
TubularSalmon: are you sure you're not someone i know messing with ME?
me: You're going to have to take my word on it that I'm not.
I mean, you did get an IM yesterday from a...what was it, "ProtestingSalmon", right? I did too.
TubularSalmon: no, i didn't
me: No?
TubularSalmon: this is the first message like this i've gotten
me: Strange.
*tubularsalmon is offline*

Well, this is moderately terrifying.

In short, they're talking about admitting more people into the US on work visas. It's apparently not bad enough that anything having to do with customer service or manufacturing is getting shipped out of the states, now they want to talk about bringing more people from outside the US into the technology sector.

And all it requires is a bachelor's from a US university. And if you have a master's or doctorate from a US university, you don't count towards the H1-B cap. I don't doubt that if this happens, companies like Microsoft and Texas Instruments and Boeing and other big tech-sector companies will be giving "donations" to universities so that they may search for those who have accomplished much in the technology industry from the second- and third-world and grant them honorary diplomas.

And by granting them honorary diplomas, thereby make them eligible for H1-B work visas, which in turn allows for those big companies to bring over workers from out of the state and pay them less than what those born and bred in the States would require.

This makes me wonder if eventually the States are going to be nothing more than a land of managers.

More answers? Ohnoez!

Of these two classics, which is more deserving of a role playing game of its own: The Three Stooges, or Abbott and Costello?
Tough call. I'd have to say Abbott and Costello, though, due to the ability to include such mythical beasts as Frankenstein, the Invisible Man, Boris Karloff, and the Keystone Kops.

Which of the Harry Potter flicks stayed the most true to its' novel form?
Sadly, I'm not qualified to answer this question as I haven't read all the books. I think I made it about halfway through #3 before I became distracted and didn't continue.

zodiacstation13 has started! Open registration goes through next week--until kisekinotenshi decides to make another Event Post, really. Get in on this. Professor gyoro_resh commands it to be so!

I just had some random person IM me, insult me, accuse me of being gay, and then ask who I was.

So I refuted their insult, told them I don't associate with people who acid-trip regularly, and pushed the block button.

FIVE questions? WTH. Give me MOAR. Anyway. Answers as promised:

What are seven excellent "I'm moving out of town!" songs?
"Leavin' on a Jet Plane", the closing song of Once More With Feeling, Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass's version of "Music to Watch Girls By", Abba's "Departure", Tenacious D's "Tribute to the Best Song in the World", and Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song".

What is the meaning of life? I know it's 42 but what the heck does that mean?
The meaning of life is unknowable. The purpose of life, on the other hand, is entirely knowable: it is to make more life. "42" is merely a symbol of multiplicity.

Are we ever having game again? If so...when???
Yes, and I have no idea. Both Val and I have been down with plague, but we're getting better.

What GitP poster do you want to meet the most?
Have to say Vorpal Tribble on that one.

Which GitP poster do you like the least?
All my hates have been banninated. :D


ASK ME MOAR QWESTIONS.

Warning about tides of March.

ASK ME THINGS.

I promise I'll answer.

Does this make anyone else want to write, or is it just me?

If you were able to spend one night with me, what 5 things would you want to do? (They don't have to be sexual.)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Then repost this in your journal and see what people want to do with you!

Comments are screened and will likely remain that way.

"Frank Stein-Draculan".

Plague subsiding. The Battle of the Trachea continues onwards and has expanded into the nearby Sinus Caverns.

Headquarters is not pleased with this, as it is "uncomfortably close" to their base of operations. Still, Lower Respiratory is continuing to expel the enemy with startling--albeit painful--efficiency, usually sending a platoon or two of the foe packing in fits and starts. Perhaps a more coordinated offensive would be more effective, but HQ and L. Resp. don't seem to be getting along very well.

Also receiving reports of possible breakouts in such far-off locales as Lower Spine, Hips, and Calves. I wonder if it is merely the effect of a long-term campaign such as this, or if they are in protest from the significant quantity of gardening that was performed yesterday. Those regions have been known to complain after such skirmishes before, so it would not surprise me in the least.

At the behest of the glorious kisekinotenshi, the RP community zodiacstation13 is born.

I play gyoro_resh.

JOIN ME. //shakes fist

The Plague is losing the Battle of the Trachea, but appears to be besieging Voicebox Pass in efforts to stem the tide of its inevitable defeat. Countermeasures are being taken as best possible.